How To Stop Apologising And Claim What You Want (Mindset + Tips)

If you find yourself saying sorry a lot or overly apologising before asserting yourself and your boundaries, this article (and podcast episode linked at the bottom) will give you some mindset coaching and practical steps that you can use to move away from an apologetic mindset and into a more empowered one.

Apologising should be done as a conscious decision, not a default setting (write that down!)

When you apologise, you are implying that you have done something wrong which can create feelings of guilt and what you feel guilty about you will punish yourself for in some way.

Here are some examples of what apologising can look and sound like:

Assuming people will be upset with you if you shine too brightly or take up too much space

Apologising for maintaining your boundaries, especially if you haven’t been before

Saying sorry when invoicing or sending payment links to clients

Apologising when speaking up or interrupting

Not being consistent with your income

Insert whatever else you can think of but you get the idea

When we overly apologise, we keep ourselves small and hold ourselves back from claiming what we want for ourselves. When we move into a more empowered mindset we create changes that are meaningful for us and inspire the people around us.

Here are 3 ways to stop apologising and start moving into an empowered mindset in your life and business:

Using empowered money language

How we speak in situations greatly influences how we experience them.

In MMS Academy, you get in depth training on using empowered money language, especially when it comes to your fees and working with clients.

If you find yourself saying things like “sorry, I’ll need to invoice you” or “sorry, I can’t do that on your current package” then begin to move into a more empowered way of speaking, here are some examples for you:

“Sorry, I’ll need to invoice you” becomes “Happy to help you with that, here’s a link to book some time with me”

“Sorry, I can’t do that on your current package” becomes “Although that’s outside of your current package, we can definitely have a chat about the options to upgrade here”

If you find yourself apologising for interrupting or speaking up, here are some reframes for you:

“Sorry, can I just interrupt” becomes “I’m going to jump in here”

“Sorry, can I say something here” become “Great, I have a question / comment here”

(We coach and train you on interrupting your clients in session and other powerful coaching tools in MMS Coach training)

Take up space without apology

Where are you apologising for taking up space?

Perhaps you let yourself go to a certain income or exposure level and then pull back or perhaps there are certain areas that you would love to expand into with your business but you don’t feel like you are allowed to take up space there.

Without making yourself wrong or going into any self blame, spend some time thinking about where you may be apologising for taking up space in your life and business and ask yourself “What would open up for me if I stopped apologising for being here?”

What action steps would you be taking to move into the space you want to be?

Fully claim what you want… and mean it.

If you fully claimed what you want without apology, what practical steps would that involve? Here are some ideas:

Maintaining your boundaries without apologising

Raising your fees without overly justifying

Letting go of certain clients without feeling guilty

Taking up space without apology

Speaking up in an empowered way

What ever fully claiming what you want looks like for you, own it without apology and take action on it TODAY.

For more mindset coaching and practical tips, check out this podcast episode:

Episode #167- Stop apologising (mindset + tips)

To arrange a complimentary 30 minute consultation to discuss the best mindset shifts and practical next steps for your money goals, please fill out this form.

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